What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
08.06.2025 05:17
So, i spoilt her more .
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
But, we were locked up after school.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I said to her
I was seconnd youngest,
We all went to grammer schools
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
What is one thing nice you did for someone today or something they did for you?
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Why do narcissist move on so easily?
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
What is your review of the Redmi 9A? Is it worth buying?
But ive been too sick for many years..
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I will be 64.
Why do you think Filipinos are conservatives?
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Do married men know when their wives are having affairs?
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Why would my husband cheat on me with an ugly fat woman?
I was very sick at this time too.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Are there any penalties for bestiality in the USA and laws prohibiting it?
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I waited trembling.
Procter & Gamble says it will cut 7,000 jobs over the next 2 years - CBS News
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Tim McGraw's daughter Gracie McGraw comes out as queer: 'Happy freaking Pride' - USA Today
Where the ultimate outsiders.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
My life is so biszare .
All the time i was locked up.
Would this be the day?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Who then, do I blame.?
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
She found it foreign!.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I write beautiful poetry .
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
One cannot live in the past .
She married twice! .
She wouldn,t have been !
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Im still living with it.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Put me off passion for life!!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
What did i know ?
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I was 9 years of age.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I have no regrets .
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I think the readers, may guess!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
They are buried together, in the same grave..
My family never makes their pension either.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Why did i forgive my father ?
On the 31st of Jan this month .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I was scared of men, in general
She was in good health!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Ive learnt so much.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
It was going to be , some day.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I never cut or harmed myself..
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
He knew the spot.
I couldn’t, believe it.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Comes on , in middle age.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
She loved him until the end.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He resisted the act ,that day.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I don,t even have a pension.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
We were not on the streets..
This is soul school!.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
But it wasn’t much.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
When she asked me how she looked .
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
And i lived it daily.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
(And it was in our own minds.)
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
So whats the point in blame.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Especially a lifetime of it.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!